The Sun Will Shine Again
Part 2 of doing the foundational work, building a toolbox, and prioritizing our mental/emotional health.
When you have a seed, we all know that you need to put that seed in good soil, water it regularly, and expose it to sunlight for it to grow. But, if the seed isn’t growing, usually we know not to blame the seed.
It’s not a bad seed, the environment just needs to change.
However, no one is going to sit around and argue whether or not a seed needs water, nutrients, and a stable environment to grow.
Stick with me here.
The point I’m trying to make is, it’s a waste of time to argue whether or not you need a solid foundation or system or routine to experience growth in your life. You need to water your seed for it to grow. That’s a fact.
But to be honest, it’s a fact that I used to fight myself. I used to think, “I’m just a go with the flow kind of person” or “I get bored doing the same thing over and over again, why would I need a routine?”
I had a seed and was constantly uprooting it, starving it of the nutrients it needed, and then becoming frustrated when the seed didn’t grow. Worst of all, I simply thought I was a bad seed.
Not true.
My seed simply needed water, nutrients, and a stable environment for it to grow.
In the last newsletter, we answered three reflection questions (WHERE are you going, WHY are you going there, and WHAT are you doing to get there). Your answers to the first three questions are your seed. Now, how do you put your seed into fertile soil so it doesn’t die prematurely? What nutrients are you feeding your seed? How often are you watering your seed?
The following 4 questions will make sure that you are taking care of your seed.
Reflection Question #4: What does a GOOD day look like for me? What does a HARD day look like for me?
Imagine waking up in an ideal world: what would your morning routine look like? What would your night time routine look like?
Think back to your seed. How can you create an environment in which that seed will thrive? What time will you wake up, what time will you go to bed?
Here’s the thing.
Life operates within systems: the solar system, our cardiovascular system, our ecosystems, etc.
You are no different.
In other words, if the literal universe operates under and within a system, and your physical body operates under and within a system, your mind is not going to be the exception. Yes, it’s hard. But you need to create a system that you will operate under and within. Actually, let me put it this way. You’re already operating within a system. It’s time to take responsibility, and think about what you actually want it to look like, so that you can take the steps to improve it and make the most of your time.
Be as specific as possible as you list out all of the steps and details while also remaining realistic. Don’t overwhelm yourself. The point is to be intentional with how you spend your time so you can set yourself up for success.
Another way to think about it could be, what is my HIGH energy daily routine and what is my LOW energy daily routine? Remember to be so so for real with yourself, please!
At the very bare minimum, what is it that you still want to accomplish each day? What are your non-negotiables? What time/space will you be relentless about protecting?
As I’ve mentioned before, I used to roll out of bed just a couple of minutes before I had to leave the house, scramble to get ready as quickly as possible, and then wonder why I spent the rest of my day feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Prioritizing both getting ready for the day and winding down for the night helps me to feel better prepared to take on whatever may come my way.
Reflection Question #5: What are the things that I genuinely love to do?
Not the things you WISH you liked to do! The things you already like doing.
Think about what brings you joy. Please don’t put running on this list if it’s not what you love to do right now. Don’t put reading or working out on this list if that’s not what you enjoy doing right now. You can put it on your goals for later. This list is for things that you’ll reach for when you need to rest, unwind, and/or combat any anxious or depressive thoughts. Kind of like your comfort blanket.
Because at some point, you’re going to need to set up systems of Rest.
Now the thing that most people don’t understand is that Rest is not just about unplugging from work and life. Rest is also about plugging into sources of joy and meaning like family, friends, hobbies, etc.
Whether it’s talking/hanging out with friends, watching YouTube videos, painting your nails, listening to Podcasts, dancing to good music, write. it. down. Here are some more examples!
Reflection Question #6: Who are the people that I will reach out to when it feels like my world is falling apart?
This includes the people that will encourage me, provide me with new perspective, or just sit with me. The people that I know have my back and my best interests at heart. The people I can trust. The people I can lower my walls and let my guard down with.
This is something I had to pray about for a long time. I’ve always known about the importance of community, but theory and practice are two different things. Trusting people and being honest enough to let them see the ugly parts of you is hard. Building the discernment of who to trust and share things with is hard. Putting yourself out there so you can find and build these intentional relationships is hard.
But I promise, you cannot do life alone. Even if this list is just two or three people, and even if these relationships aren’t perfect, there is beauty in just starting.
Reflection Question #7: Who/What/Where am I learning from?
Finally, what books, people, and resources are pouring into you so that you are constantly growing?
Like a plant, you need food/nutrients to grow. So, where/who/what is your food source? You need to be feeding your mind new knowledge & information to avoid remaining stuck in cycles and loops.
If I’m honest though, I fully acknowledge that through social media and technology we’re fed a constant influx of knowledge or information. Sometimes, it feels like too much. So, the question is how can you be intentional about curating a diet for yourself that will help instead of hurt.
Rae’s Resources might be a good place to start... from there you can begin to find podcasts or books or YouTube channels that you can learn from.
More on why this is important in future newsletters!
Tying Everything Together
Guess what?
You did it! You reached the end. I know it’s a lot. But after answering all of these questions you now have your toolkit. You have your WHY, you know your focus(es) for this season, you know what to reach for and who to reach for when life starts life-ing. You’ve done the work of identifying what to hold onto until the rain stops, the clouds part and the suns shines again. Because it will.
The sun will shine again. I promise.
With all my love,
Rae.
Rae’s Resources
PODCASTS/BOOKS THAT ARE 🤯
You’re Unhappy and You Don’t Know it - Learn to Leave the Comfort of Being Unhappy
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
“You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.”
SONGS I’M LOVING 🎶
The Age of Worry - Yebba
THE FUTURE - Dunsin Oyekan
The Story I’ll Tell - Naomi Raine
Evidence - Naomi Raine
REFLECTION QUESTIONS 📝
#1: What are my areas of focus right now?
#2: What is my why?
#3: Where am I going?
#4: What does a good day look like for me? What does a hard day look like for me?
#5: What are the things that I genuinely love to do?
#6: Who are the people that I will reach out to when it feels like my world is falling apart?
#7: Who/what am I learning from?
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 🌱
LOOKING TO CONNECT?
You can find me on Instagram (@_raek47), on YouTube/Spotify/Apple Podcasts, or you can message me directly!
Nice write-up!