Because Hope Matters.

A little bit about hope. And insecurities, imposter syndrome, and comparison. But mostly hope...

Happy New Year!! I know, I know, it’s waaay too late in January to still be saying that but I’ve had quite the start to my year and this is my first week settling back in Canada. Nonetheless, I have some big hopes and aspirations for this year and I’m extremely excited to see them come to fruition. So, that’s basically all I wanted to write about today: Hope. And insecurities, imposter syndrome, and comparison. But mostly hope.

At the beginning of this year, I went through a process that I’m sure many of you did as well. I reflected on 2021, and then wrote down all of my responsibilities for 2022, as well as all of my goals. I tried to be as detailed and realistic as possible, but a part of me couldn’t help but let my mind drift. In the beginning, I was writing down the basics. The number of books I wanted to read by the end of the year, the amount of money I wanted to save/invest, the grades I wanted to get. But as I got to the end of my list, I began to get a little creative. Still detailed, still realistic, but a little more daring. What I wanted to write, where I wanted to travel, what I wanted to do… As I stared at the final list I couldn’t help but feel conflicted. A battle arose between my hopes and desires, and my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Who was I to think I could accomplish these things?

Let’s Talk About the Power of Hope

I recently got the opportunity to volunteer as a Research Assistant at one of the Psychology Labs at my university. The project that I’m a part of specifically aims to identify how common therapeutic factors interact with each other and lead to better outcomes in psychotherapy. That’s just a fancy way of saying that the project is investigating what actually makes therapy effective. Did you know that studies show placebos seem to work just as effectively as actual therapy techniques? And this placebo effect, of course, doesn’t just apply to therapy. Time and time again, doctors and researchers have found an overwhelming amount of cases in which a placebo is just as effective as prescribed medication. A person believes, perceives, and expects the medication will work —is almost confident that it will—and as a result, they get better. If viewed as helpful, the placebo effect can heal. The opposite is true as well: if viewed as harmful, it can cause negative effects. If this is the case, then the question remains: what is it that makes psychotherapy effective? One theory, in short, is hope. Take that away, and the effect is devastating.

So…What are you hoping for?

I know I’m not saying anything groundbreaking. But I did think you could use the reminder. I’m tired of hearing, “I’m just a realist”, “I’m just naturally a pessimist”, “It’s my way of protecting myself and regulating my expectations”. While I understand the sentiments, I still encourage you: Hope just a little more. I’ve got the science and the studies to prove that it has a greater effect on your outcomes than you think.

But…the presence of my hope doesn’t seem to change the intensity of my insecurities.

I’m hopeful for the year ahead, I promise, but that doesn’t change the fact that I seriously doubt whether I have the ability and the skill necessary to accomplish my goals (some describe that self-doubt as imposter syndrome). Let’s take this very newsletter as an example. In one of my drafts, I began writing about some topic or another, but it quickly became a rant about why I don’t deserve to have a newsletter in the first place. I wrote, “so when I’m asked why should people listen to me, what do I have to share, what have I mastered, what are my qualifications? I don’t know what to say. Right now it’s just my experiences, my journey. I don’t feel like I’ve mastered anything. I’m not actually really that great at anything!! So am I really in a place where I’m ready to share? Consistently?”

I’ll spare you from the rest. And while this may sound dramatic, it’s honest. And so I’ll be honest about what I tell myself in these moments. I whisper it to myself, I write it to myself, I even sometimes yell it to myself in frustration. Feel the feelings, do it anyways. It’s okay if I suck. It’s okay if my writeups aren’t amazing, or I don’t have the credentials— as long as I’m doing the work and building on it. In fact, I was saying this to a friend (here’s your shoutout Ty 😂) and he reminded me that credentials can come later. He added, “and plus credentials aren’t necessarily a reflection of how useful someone’s lived experiences and insight could be to other people. You can still be used by God in huge ways without necessarily having crazy credentials. He uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things”. A word. Feel the feelings, do it anyways. Feel the feelings, hope anyways. That is why I allow myself to be honest about all of my insecurities and inadequacies, but that doesn’t change the fact that the newsletter is getting written. The applications are getting sent. I’m applying for the job. And the list continues. I’m allowed to feel whatever I want but it’s my actions that actually count. That is the biggest point that I want to emphasize: When all is said and done, what did you do?

It’s Time to Jump Off the Cliff

This is how I see it. Hope— visualize yourself jumping off the cliff, expect that you will. Feel—the fear, the insecurity, the uncertainty. Jump —act. do it. But please, take your time through each step using wisdom along the way.

You cannot hate your way into changing. Trust me, I’ve tried. But I do insist that maybe, just maybe, you can hope your way into changing.

Yes, I’m sure the New Year was an exciting and hopeful time, but as the month trickles along remember every monday, every morning, every moment is a breath of fresh air, and a chance to start again: A reason to hope. An excuse to feel. And an opportunity to jump.

Till next time,

Rae

Hebrews 11:1-6

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Before you go! I’m off of social media for the next month or so, and so I need your help. If you enjoyed reading this, if it brought you any value, or if you think it would be of value to others then please share! I’m believing that though I may not be able to post about it on Instagram, Twitter, etc., this will still reach exactly who it was meant to.

And you guys know how much I love to hear your thoughts! Please consider leaving a comment, a question you had while reading, or even something you’d like to hear more about!